Reflections of the Past
by POIphantomgirl
Summary: A new case for the team causes Joss to question issues from John's past
1. Chapter 1

_so glad to see people still writing Careese. Anyway here's my next story. Also thank you to everyone who has reviewed what I've written so far. I am soooo grateful and I read every comment and appreciate them all._

Slowly John felt himself pulled from sleep at the unending buzzing of his phone. Trying to ignore the rising sun that blasted through his windows he rolled over so that his back was against the windows. Without opening his eyes he reached over and brought his phone to his ear.

"Morning sleepyhead," came her voice. Greeting him before he could speak.

John smiled. "Good morning Detective."

"How is it I'm up before you? I'm just an NYPD cop, you're _the man in the suit._ You should have saved your third life by now." Joss teased.

Lightly John laughed, wanting to hear her talk all day. He loved when she called him early in the morning, waking him up. Hearing her voice was far better than any alarm clock. His life had transformed since they had started dating. As crazy as he was about her before he was even more smitten now. She consistently showed him her soft nurturing side. The side of her that normally only came out when she was around Taylor. But now she shared it with him.

"Come on get up Mr. Fantastic, or Superman or whoever you're going to be today."

"Don't be jealous just because I get to sleep in and you don't. It really doesn't become you."

"Alright fine. You're right. I'm jealous. Enjoy your morning. Get some sleep for me."

"You'll hear from me later."

She smirked. "I'm sure I will."

"Who's the new number?" John asked a few hours later as he approached the back of Finch's chair. Shaw stood less than a foot away from him as they huddled close to the computer.

"The young Ms. Clarisse Phillips. Recently came into the lime light after the announcement of her engagement to Senator Gary Marshall."

"Uh, she's _engaged_ to that man. I thought she was his daughter." Shaw put in staring at the picture of the young dark haired woman and the middle aged man. "Don't get me wrong, the man looks good. Sort of has that Cary Grant appeal. Better with age, but still…"

"Precisely Ms. Shaw. One reason they have gained so much attention is because of their rather noticeable age difference."

"What's got her into trouble?" John asked.

"That's just it Mr. Reese. I am not for certain. At this point it could be one of many things, but nothing that sticks out any more than the ordinary. But considering we will be dealing with such a public figure we will need all of us working actively on the case."

John knew what Finch was hinting at. "I'm sure Carter can pull some files for us." Shaw cut her eyes at John while Finch turned away from the screen to look up at him.

"John, I think we'll need her for a little more than just that. Especially if we are to get closer to Ms. Phillips."

"And if things get heated…" John allowed his voice to trail off.

"She's back to working the streets again John," Harold said trying to be sympathetic. "She'll be in no more danger working for us than she is in every day."

John blinked and glanced over at Shaw who was still cutting her eyes at him. "What?" he said. She opened her mouth, but he held up a hand, "don't bother. I already know."

She raised an eyebrow as John moved across the library. "I'll call Fusco and Carter and get them updated."

Watching him go Finch and Shaw shared a look.

"I knew I'd hear from you." Carter said with a smile. "And this is not one of those just-calling-to-see-how-I'm doing calls, right." Carter asked as she took a break from the precinct and walked down the streets of New York.

"If you get in the car Joss it won't be a call at all."

Stopping Joss turned to see the black car parked against the sidewalk with John sitting in the driver's seat. She hung up the phone and made her way to the car.

John's eyes soaked in every step she took admiring all that there was about her to admire. He loved this new freedom he had. To be able to comment her on how she looked and not have to hide how much he enjoyed seeing her. Every moment he was with Joss left him wanting more. These days she was his top priority and always in his thoughts. He already knew he loved her. He had loved her for some time now, but he had held back on telling her. They weren't ready. But even though he hadn't told her those three words he did his very best to give her no reason to doubt the depth of his feelings.

Opening the door she climbed in. John briefed her on the new number. "So, what would make a young girl like her want to date someone old enough to be her father? Do you think she has someone else on her arm?"

John shrugged.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Find out what you can about the senator. His connections and what those on the inside have to say about him."

She nodded. "I can do that."

"Just one moment," John replied tapping his ear. "Hello Lionel."

"I got the information you sent. What do you need?"

"Meet up with Shaw, the senator is giving a small speech for a charity event. I'll be there in ten. Be on guard we're not sure who may want to do Phillips harm."

"Where does Carter fit into all this?"

"She's finding out all there is to know about Senator Marshall."

Fusco paused. "You know she's gonna have a fit when she realizes you're sticking her with the sissy jobs."

Not wanting to give a direct reply John danced around the issue. "Judging by what you just said Lionel, you implied that you'd rather be the detective to do the _sissy_ jobs."

"You know what I mean. She'll be fine. Let her back in on the action. I'm sure if anything goes wrong you'll be right there to protect her. You always are."

"I'll see you in a few." John said hanging up knowing Fusco was right. He turned to Joss who smiled at him. She did that often when they were together.

"I gotta get going. I'll call you when I have your information." She waited not moving an expected look on her face. Smiling John reached across and kissed her softly. "See ya." She replied getting out of the car.

John swallowed watching her walk away. He was going to have to ease her back into helping them. If she knew he was giving her the boring jobs she didn't let on. But she wasn't going to brush this under the rug forever.


	2. Chapter 2 The Happy Couple

The speech went well without any interruptions. Their number, Clarisse Phillips stayed close behind the senator giving sweet smiles to the many flashing cameras. Meanwhile, Senator Marshall was the perfect politician. Saying all the right things, taking all the right stands, and all for the good of mankind. Phillips remained in the background shying away from speaking before the crowd. Yet John noticed a detached far off look in her eye in spite of her effort to stick close to the senator's side.

"Go ahead Detective, we're listening," Finch answered making certain all their lines were opened to hear Carter's report.

"Your senator runs a tight political campaign. There are still a few things I'm looking into. Give me a little bit more time. But I did learn two years ago he divorced his wife of twenty years. Glynn Marshall. She was his college sweetheart. She saw him through his rough years as he struggled to build his political career. They have two children, both of whom were reported to have been devastated over the divorce."

"What was the reason for the separation?" Finch asked fishing for more.

"It's rather sad. No one was unfaithful, Mr. Marshall just decided he had fallen out of love with his wife. She wanted to work things out, but he refused."

John looked at the senator as he shook hands with the different people in the crowd. The respect he had for the man lowered. How could the man have just walked away from the woman who had given him twenty years of her life? "And where did Clarisse Phillips end up in this?"

"That's just it. She was working as a volunteer for one of his campaigns during a rough time in her life. He took a liking to her and the rest is history. Word is his kids are having a hard time accepting the relationship. Which is why they have not been openly showing their father political support."

"Thank you detective. Perhaps a member of the Marshall family is targeting Ms. Phillips. Maybe out of revenge or anger. I think it's time to move on and get closer. I've made headway so that two of you can move in as personal body guards to the senator and Ms. Phillips. John I specifically would like you in this position. But you'll need one other person. Preferably female to work with Clarisse once you get closer." Finch went quiet waiting for him to make his choice.

John looked up and found Fusco and Shaw watching him with a knowing expression. Briefly John closed his eyes. "Carter, can you be ready in the next hour?" He asked taking the bait.

"I'm on my way."

….

John walked beside Joss, both had badges on display. John kept a close eye on Carter letting her take the lead as they approached the couple. Senator Marshall took a big breath as he folded his hands in front. "Ah! More protection. You must be the ones sent over by the police department."

Joss pasted on a professional smile. "Yes we are. I'm Detective Carter, this is Detective Ryan. We'll be overseeing certain sectors of your security." They shook hands. "We have already been briefed on your appointments and speaking engagements for the next week. I hope you do not mind us tagging along. Although I have to say whether you like our presence or not, we're going to be around."

"On the contrary Detective. I welcome it. Especially if it means my lovely fiancé will be safe." Ms. Phillips gave a shy smile her eyes falling briefly to the floor at the compliment.

"Of course. And if we may offer our congratulations." John replied.

"Thank you." Ms. Phillips said at last speaking up.

"Senator," John said turning to the man, "might I speak with you a moment?"

The man glanced at his personal body guards who stood close by. "Certainly. Excuse me," he whispered to his fiancé. John walked a few feet away hoping Carter would have enough time to warm up to their number.

The eager detective wasted no time putting her skills to work. "Again congratulations Ms. Phillips."

"Thank you, Detective Carter."

"When's the big day?"

She hesitated. "We're thinking June of next year."

"So far away? I mean no disrespect, but I thought perhaps you would want to marry before the election or not soon after."

Her eyes wavered and Carter got the feeling that the woman was uncomfortable with the direction their conversation had taken. "Yes I know. Most people think that. But I want plenty of time to plan this out. I'm…" She paused getting her words together. Carter watched her carefully. She seemed to be carefully weighing her next words. "It's my first marriage and I don't really want it bombarded with all this publicity or being just another story for the tabloids. I think it would be best if it takes place after things have settled down and the votes have been tallied."

Joss nodded. "Seems like a good idea. Not a fan of publicity?"

She quickly shook her head. "Oh no. I'm the quiet type. This is so different than what I'm used to."

"Then you two are quite the opposite. You'll being seeing a lot of the media with his lifestyle. I guess that shows you really love him."

Her head bobbed up and down. "I guess love comes with sacrifices."

Joss quietly sighed. She had pushed enough for their first meeting it was time to back off. "But I understand where you're coming from. I've been the bride before. You want everything to be perfect." A bright smile covered the young woman's face and Carter felt that she had made a connection. "May I see your ring?" Modestly she lifted her hand. "That's quite a rock."

….

John stood close to Mr. Marshall and kept his voice low. "Senator I do not mean to alarm you, but we are taking extra precautions. I chose to speak to you about this away from your fiancé because I felt that she might not take so well to this news, but we of the NYPD believe that someone might wish harm to either you or your fiancé. This campaign might present them with the perfect platform to hurt or even kill you and not leave much of a trace. Now could you tell me of anyone who you think would have an aught against you?"

The senator looked surprised. His eyes darted towards Ms. Phillips who stood still talking to Joss. Fear passed his face before he collected himself, but his eyes remained downcast for several moments. "How do you know this? I-I mean." He shrugged. "I am not certain. I know of no one who would want to harm me. I've been in politics for years and this has never been an issue. Why would someone want to come after me now?"

"I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me that." John challenged.

"I'm sorry Detective Ryan. I just don't know. But please for Clarisse's sake I would appreciate it if you and Detective Carter stayed close by. I think it would also help to put Clarisse at ease. Most of her protector's are men. I believe she will be more comfortable with a woman around."

"Will do," John assured as the senator rushed back to his fiancé. Joss joined him a few seconds later. "Well?" she asked.

"We're in. Which means things are only going to heat up from here." He faced her. "Are you wearing your vest?" Even though he was somber Joss smiled. She heard the edge in his voice and knew that if she answered no, he would drag her home and strap the thing on her himself. She glanced around and leaned a little closer to him lowering her voice. "Relax John. I have it on. What about you?"

He didn't answer which resulted in Joss stepping back and eyeing him up and down. "Hmm. I see how it is." She rolled her eyes and turned to head back to the senator. "I expect you to have it on the next time I ask you," she warned making him smirk as he followed her.


	3. Chapter 3 A New Approach

_Just FYI this story falls in line with Call in the Darkness and Promise Keeper. Picks up a weeks after the latter. I guess I should have clarified that in the first chapter, just so it was clear __ sorry. But here's the next chapter I hope to get one more update in before Wednesday. Thank you for all the reviews. I love seeing them. Their great motivation to keep writing. _

John and Joss walked as close to the senator as his bodyguards would allow. John remained highly alert as they moved through the hotel where the senator had just finished having one of the many conferences on his busy schedule. Walking to the entrance they each stepped through the shining glass doors into the night. One of the bodyguards turned to face Mr. Marshall.

"Senator, if you and Ms. Phillips will wait here, we will see to your car."

"Thank you."

"Detectives would you be so kind as to keep watch?"

Joss hesitantly nodded, her eyes briefly falling to John's car which waited a few feet away from them. John watched them walk away. Marshall turned to Clarisse and ran a hand across her cheek. "You okay sweetheart?"

Again she gave him a shy smile as she cast an embarrassed glance towards John and Joss. They shared a look and took a few steps back. Joss held in a laugh. Poor Clarisse. She was far from the open type, but Mr. Marshall was not at all bothered by onlookers. His career had seen to that.

"I'm just a little tired." She let out a breath. "It's just there's so much going on. Not to mention it's awkward when reporters ask questions about our relationship. When are we getting married, how did we meet, how long after your divorce was final until we become involved. I also don't appreciate the insinuations that we had an affair." She kept her voice as low as possible.

"They're the media. It's their job Clarisse. They have to look for scandal to make a good story. Anything to damage my political career."

"I know, but I just wish you would be a little more forthcoming with the truth."

"Hey," he lifted her chin and stepped a little closer, "I am not trying to hurt you and I am definitely not out to make you the bad guy here. But I've been in this for some time now. I know constantly defending myself isn't going to do anything. I know the truth. Now, I just have to walk in it and be confident. Please try not to let this frustrate you. I want to see that glow back in your eyes. The one that was there when we first got to know each other."  
>She let out a small smile. "I love you-" Clarisse squealed in surprise when a bullet flew past her nearly hitting John.<p>

"Get down," Joss and John yelled quickly recovering and pulling out their guns. The couple lowered as John and Joss hunkered down closer to them. Aiming his gun John began firing as they used the cars parked against the street as their shields. Joss peered over one of the car's top and shot across the street. At least three guns were firing at them.

"Stay down!" John commanded. Getting in one good aim Joss nicked one of their attackers in the arm and watched his gun go down.

"Let's move." John commanded slowly taking the lead towards his car. He checked over his shoulder, never ceasing to fire, making sure Joss was safe. The couple stayed low following close on his heels. He opened the back door for them as they slid in. At that moment a car appeared and drove straight toward the shooters throwing them off and causing them to fall back. John and Joss used the opening to climb into the car and drive off before the shots started up again.

"Mr. Reese is everything alright?"

Keeping one hand on the wheel John tapped his ear piece. "We're fine Finch. But we just evaded a few bullets. I think we need to take an alternative route. So far this angle isn't getting us very far." He looked out the corner of his eye when he felt Joss lightly pulling on his suit jacket. It only took him a moment to realize she was checking for injuries. Her hand ran across his chest and after she did not feel the extra thickness caused by a vest she frowned and punched him in the side. John tried not to wince.

"I agree. Don't worry. I'll be sending Ms. Shaw and Detective Fusco to check up on something. Carter had some loose ends and she told me of someone who she thinks might be of help, which is where Fusco and Shaw will come into play. In the mean time remain with Ms. Phillips."

"You got it."  
>….<p>

"Are you okay?" Joss asked Clarisse. The girl looked a mess. Her face was pale and she was shook up. Mr. Marshall sat across from her rubbing her shaking hands in his.

"I'll be okay Detective Carter. I'm just," she shook her head, "I'm shocked about what happened."  
>Joss nodded sympathetically. She lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "We'll find out what's going on."<br>"With all due respect detective," one of the bodyguards said stepping forward, "that is our duty and we will carry this little investigation."

Joss opened her mouth to speak, but John beat her to it. "It has now become _our_ investigation since you failed to protect them when they needed you. And for the record there is nothing little about this. When three gunmen appear at night and attack two unarmed people, it's no small matter." The bodyguard remained quiet not having the courage to speak out against John. "Why don't you both take the rest of the night off? I think my partner and I have proved we can handle things."

The two men glanced at each other then, unwilling to argue, they left the room. Clarisse meanwhile took another unsteady breath. Part of her wanted to curl up into her fiancé's arms. The other part of her wanted to be away from him. To breathe, to return to something more familiar. Not the chaos of the political world. As if seeing her need Joss came closer. "Clarisse would you like to go to your room? Or get some air?"

Although she was still a stranger Clarisse felt comfortable with the female detective. She nodded and stood. "Yes please. I could use that." Without turning to Marshall she stood and prepared to leave with Joss.

"We'll be right back." Joss informed John giving him a knowing look.

Once they were out in the large hallway of Marshall's house Joss noticed Clarisse visibly relaxed. "I'm sorry this happened Clarisse. I assure you we are doing all that we can to help."

She gave a weak appreciative smile. "Thank you. I don't know why this happened. He's never had these problems in the past. I don't understand. Granted I haven't know him for several years, but still. " Tears appeared in her eyes and she took a breath to control herself. Joss's heart went out to her knowing she was under a lot of stress. "So much is happening. The wedding, the campaign, the rumors. Now this. It just has made me question if I'm really ready to get married. I keep thinking about how my life used to be before we met. A long time ago with Will…" Abruptly Clarisse stopped herself. She shook her head dismayed. Carter tried not to react to the name that was just mentioned. Who was _Will? _"Please keep my frustrations between us. Don't tell Gary. I don't want him to know I'm having doubts."

Joss nodded. "Every bride has jitters." However, even as Joss said the words she wasn't sure that "jitters" was all this was. There was something else bothering Clarisse and Carter wasn't sure what.

"Carter," both women looked down the hall to see John standing in the shadows. "Can I speak with you?"

"Excuse me." Joss's heels clicked against the floor. "What's up?"

"Still nothing from Marshall. He's hiding something Joss. I know he knows more than he's letting on. It looks like we'll have to stay the night. I have a bag for you in my car."

Joss's eyes went wide and she stared at her boyfriend in disbelief. "You went to my place and packed me a bag. John-"

"Relax, I respected your privacy, I had Shaw pack it, but I was with her." Joss rolled her eyes. "I thought it would be smart to keep some of your things with me just in case we ran into a situation such as the one we're in right now."

Joss huffed out a breath. Then looked over him. "You're show _you're _okay?"

His eyes softened. "Of course. Come on Joss. You know me getting shot at is just another day in my neighborhood."

She smiled. "You just better thank God you didn't get a bullet to your chest while you walked around unprotected."

He smiled. "I already did." He grew serious again. "I'm going to go down to the car and get the bags. Stay here. You take Clarisse. I'll take Marshall."

A corner of her mouth lifted. "Okay." A twinkle appeared in her eye. One that John didn't miss and he smirked. She wanted to kiss him, but not with Clarisse so close. So instead she lifted her fist. He bumped it. Both settling for the small amount of physical contact. "Let me know when Finch gets back to you about what Shaw and Fusco find out. That was my only lead and I'm eager to know if there's anything to it."

…

"Boss, you got company." Tony announced. From out of the shadows Shaw and Fusco appeared. Elias held that same small smile that never left his face. As if he was always finding something amusing. Shaw couldn't stand it.

"Welcome Detective, Ms. Shaw. I mean no offense, but I would rather my dealings from your little team be with John, or my chess partner. I even at this point wouldn't mind my favorite NYPD detective. She certainly would be more pleasing to the eye."

Shaw cocked an eyebrow. "We'll be sure to tell her that the next time we see her."

"Why did Harold send you two?"

"Because Carter and Reese are currently at work."

Elias nodded. "Well, I guess I will have to settle on my disappointment. What can I do for you?"

"We want to know what information you got on a senator." Fusco answered. "He's real hot in the news right now. In the midst of his campaign. Gary Marshall."

Elias's brow lifted in recognition of the name. "Ah yes. I've heard of the name."

"How?" Shaw question not appreciating the way Elias took his time answering questions or going in circles before he finally released the information that had been wanted.

"He's quite the businessman."

"He's worked with you?" Fusco asked in surprise.

"Not me. But his men have."

"_His_ men?" Shaw repeated.

"Marshall was one of top crooked politicians in this city. Had dealings with the Russians and even HR before it was destroyed. He was interested in partnering up with me, but I kept are dealings minimal. Not only did his boys on the street push drugs to kids, but he had too much thirst for power. I knew that could be a problem."

"So the so-called man of the people has been a fake," Fusco concluded. "Letting crime slip for different payoffs."

"Like it or not crime can be very rewarding. There was very little this man wasn't into. Until his recent redemption that is."

"Redemption?" Shaw questioned.

"He went straight. Abandoned his old crooked ways. You can imagine that hasn't set well with his boys who are now without work or a political ally. Word is they put a price on the head of that young girl he's with."

Fusco frowned. "For what?"

"Leverage to get the man to do what they want after he is elected. The key is, if he wants to see his bride walk down the aisle, he'll do what needs to be done to keep her alive."

…

The next day John and Joss followed close to Clarisse. The bodyguards had come with reinforcements and forced them away from the senator and Ms. Phillips, but Joss and John continued to watch her from a distance as she went about running errands. Joss sat in the passenger seat as they both kept a close eye on the number from the view given them in a very large window.  
>"I can't believe it. This guy is no better than the rest of them," Joss said disgusted after having learned the truth of Senator Marshall. "And what's worse is he has the audacity to walk around all wide eyed and innocent when the whole time he's known what has been going on."<p>

"I can't believe the man was with his wife for twenty years and made her put up with his illegal affairs only to go straight and leave her after he's made that decision. Fusco and Finch learned that she begged him for years to get on the right path. It's wrong to give her her wish when she's not going to get to enjoy the new man he is now."

Joss shook her head. "I don't know John. This relationship has doom written all over it."  
>"What do you mean?" John took his eyes away from the store to look at Joss.<p>

"Don't get me wrong, I think Clarisse really cares for Marshall, but she's having lots of doubts." Carter bit her lip. "I think she is still in love with someone else. She mentioned another man's name the other night. She didn't say who he was, but the way she said it, and the look in her eye, whoever he is she's not over him. I think that's another reason why she isn't in a rush to get married."

John listened not shocked by the news. He could tell Clarisse wasn't half as eager as she should be. But if she didn't love the man completely what had made her say yes to his proposal? His eyes returned to the store in time to see her walk back out. Her bodyguard, who had been with her moments ago, however did not follow. John clenched his teeth. Why weren't these guards doing their jobs? Clarisse walked past a man standing on the sidewalk. The man glanced up at her watching her walk by before he fell into step behind her.

"She's got someone on her tail," John said, but Joss was already slipping out of her seatbelt. They moved across the street to catch up to the man who was gaining on Clarisse. Just as the man had reached out his hand to grab her, John jumped him, forcing him back to an alley. He raised his fist and struck the man in the mouth causing him to stumble back.

"John!" Joss warned reaching out to stop him. "Calm down. He's not going anywhere." John grabbed the front of the man's jacket taking the time to realize how much smaller he was. "What do you want?"

"Me?" he accused. "What were you doing? Are you here to hurt Clarisse?"

"No. That's what you came to do and I stopped you." Without another word John began pulling the man towards the car.

"What are you doing?" Carter questioned cautiously looking around as they crossed the street.  
>"He's coming with us. We're getting some answers."<p>

"Uh John I thought we had had this talk about kidnapping."

As John threw the man into the trunk he ignored his protests. "Face it Joss. If this man is who we think he is a short ride in a trunk is letting him off easy."


	4. Chapter 4 The Impersonal Gets Personal

_Tried to fulfill my goal of getting another chapter posted before Wednesday. Well I have two.. _

"I didn't do nothin'. You have the wrong guy!" the man complained once he was sitting down facing John, Finch, and Joss.

"Then why were you following Ms. Phillips?" Finch questioned.

"I was trying to speak with her. She knows me!"  
>"And who are you?" John asked.<p>

"Will. Will Conner."

Carter's brow pinched. "Will." She repeated. John turned giving her a look that asked what was the significance of that name. "Clarisse has mentioned you."

"I would hope so, considering I almost married her." They remained quiet waiting for him to continue. "We were together three years ago. We were engaged. I…I did private work for the government for a time. I went out on assignment one night to help a colleague and was shot down in the process. I was mistaken for dead. And that's what they told Clarisse. I had lost my memory. About a year later I recovered, and had learned what they told Clarisse. I thought it was best maybe if I stayed dead. I didn't know if she had moved on and I didn't want to come in and disrupt her life. I had lived dangerously enough as it was when we were together. I didn't want to cause her more heartache."

Now, it all made sense to Joss. "So, why do you want the truth to come out now?" Finch asked reading Joss's mind. John continued to listen, but he began lightly pacing back and forth through the room.

"I found out she was engaged to the senator. Look I was with her when she was happy and I can see it in her face. She's not happy. I'm not saying she doesn't care abut this guy, but… I thought if there's a chance that she still loves me, maybe I should at least tell her the truth and see what happens. I don't know. It's crazy I get that. I guess I just want an opportunity to tell her I still love her, before she's taken from me for good. That's why I followed her this morning. After last night I knew I better tell her soon before something crazy happens."

"Last night?" John asked coming to a halt and peering down at Will. "During the shoot out?"

He nodded.

"You were the one driving the other car?" John concluded.

Again he nodded. "I had to do something. I couldn't let them take her out. Whatever that was about I know for a fact she had nothing to do with it. None of it was her fault."

"You're right about that," Joss muttered.

"Look, I have to see her. It's hard to get to her with all the paparazzi and bodyguards, but I _have_ to get to her. Can you help me? Please! I need to see her."

Joss's heart went out to the man, but she knew what answer she had to give. "Look, Will-"

"We'll get you in to see her."

Both Joss and Finch leaned back, shock covering their faces as their eyes fell on John. Had he just said what they thought?

"We'll take you to her."

"Really? You will?"

"Yes."

Joss immediately wanted to protest, but hesitated with Will sitting in the room. Since when was John a matchmaker? By agreeing to get Will in to see Clarisse they would be doing far more than just protecting the young woman's life. On the contrary it would be getting personal. Doing this could result in Marshall and Clarisse breaking up. And that would not leave them sitting in a pretty spot. So why was John sold on this stranger getting a second chance? Joss knew more than most that John was far from heartless, but it was rare he got this personal over romantic issues. So what was his motive?

…..

"It's all clear Mr. Reese. Marshall has gone out on a meeting. I have Ms. Shaw following him. She'll report if he heads back to the house."

"Thanks Finch. We'll try to make this quick." John replied.

Joss stood by his side and moved to the entrance of the living room preparing to precede John and Will so that she could give Clarisse a heads up. However, John's voice stopped her. "Let me," he almost pleaded.

Her eyes widened briefly before she gave him a doubtful look. "John I think someone should break it to her gently. And I think it should be me. This is going to be hard enough-"

"Joss either way it's going to be a shock. Might as well let the chips fall where they may." Before Joss could stop him he burst through the entrance."

"Clarisse, we need to speak with you." At his abruptness Clarisse started.

"What's wrong Detect-" standing to her feet she stopped as John moved out of the way. "Will?"

The two locked eyes as Will moved towards her. "Claire." His voice was breathless, his eyes glossed. "I'm sorry. I've missed you."

Tears were already pouring down her face. "No. This can't be. T-they said you died. You're dead. This isn't real."

Boldly, needing to touch her, Will lay a hand against her cheek. "They thought I was. Until recently."

Clarisse sobbed. "Oh Will," she nearly collapsed into his arms clinging to him with the tightest grip she could muster up.

"I'm sorry you had to believe I was dead. Sorry to hurt you and abandon you. Clarisse, I love you. I always have. I've missed you so much." Joss's peered up at John. His eyes were glued to the young lost lovers. He was entranced. Why was he becoming so emotionally involved? As if he felt their pain. And why did this seem so familiar?

Abruptly Clarisse released her hold and pulled away forcing Will to drop his arms since she no longer filled them. She swiped at her eyes. "So, what now? Huh? You came here to tell me that and what do you expect? Us to just pick back up where we left off? I'm engaged! To a man who's been there for me over the past year. Who I really care for."

"I know. And I told you I'm sorry. But I know you. I can see you're not as happy as you could be-"

"Uh-uh. No. You don't get to do that. You can't just come here after all this time and tell me how I feel."

"Clarisse."

"No. Will. I think you should go." Her voice cracked. "I can't deal with this right now."

Will looked at Joss and John at a loss for what to do. Gently Carter touched the man's arm nodding towards John. Taking the hint he went to the door. Both he and John exited.

"If you don't mind," Clarisse said, refusing to look Joss's way as she continued to swipe at her eyes, "I would like to be alone for a little while."

"Okay," Joss replied stepping out of the room eager to join John.


	5. Chapter 5 Listening In

The shock of Clarisse's rejection had quickly worn off and left Will frustrated. He stalked through the house leaving John to rush after him and Carter to rush after John.

"Where are you going?" Joss asked tugging his arm to stop him.

"I need to talk to him."  
>"And say what?"<br>"This isn't over Joss. He can fix this."

"John you have to remember. Gary Marshall? Clarisse's _fiancé_! We've taken enough risks just bringing Will here. Gary's supposed to marry her."

"Marshall had happily ever after with a woman who put up with him and his mess for twenty years. A woman who knew what and who he was and still stuck by him. He blew it when he decided to walk away from her. Now it's about Clarisse and Will."

Joss was completely unsure of what to say. What was wrong with him? The familiarity of this case and John's eagerness to help left Joss with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. He locked his eyes with hers briefly, smiling slightly. He stroked her cheek. "Wait here for me."

Then he was gone. Leaving a stunned Carter behind.

…

"Where are you going?" John asked once outside the house. Will kept his steady pace as if he were trying to put as much distance between himself and the house that held the love of his life.

"_Where am I going?_ I would think that was obvious. Come on man she told me to go. You heard and saw it all. She doesn't want me. She wants the idiot who walked out on his wife and family. That's what she wants. It's what she's choosing and she knows deep down she's not happy."  
>"If you're going to run off that easily you didn't have half the courage I thought you did."<p>

Will stopped on the sidewalk having walked two houses down. "What's it to you? I still love her alright? But I don't blame her for not wanting me. I did her wrong. Let her go when I should have chased after her. You don't know. Not everything I did for the government was right. And she knew that, yet she still loved me. She waited and pushed me to be a better person. Even though she was there and I had no doubt she loved me for me, faults and all, I still let her believe I was dead. It's my fault."

"No if you walk away _now_ it will be your fault. She is having doubts. You saw the way she reacted when she saw you."

"Yeah. She closed herself off and kicked me out."  
>"Before that. She was relieved to see you. She wants you. She's just angry and shocked right now. Anyone can see that. She still loves you. I'm not saying she doesn't love Marshall, but you have a chance. Fight for it. Man up and chase after her. Do all you can to get her. So that if she does reject you at least you'll know you did all you could."<p>

Will stared at him confused. "Why does it matter to you? Why are you doing this? I saw the way your friends reacted when you agreed to take me to her. This isn't what you normally do. So, why?"

"Take it from someone who knows," John said growing more serious. "She thought you were dead and after all this time you're both still alive and she's not married yet. That's not just a coincidence. When God gives you a second chance take advantage of it. So many people," he said his words heavy with conviction his voice growing raspier with emotion, "don't get second chances with the one they love. When you get one, you seize every opportunity." He smirked. "So go get her."

…

Joss closed her eyes. That sinking feeling, those growing, fears now overflowing as she listened to John's conversation with Will. She couldn't help herself. She had to know why John was so stuck on helping him. She heard his words and now she found her eyes filled with tears and her heart heavy. How come she hadn't seen it before? The second chances, two lovers reunited, one engaged, one thought to be dead. Helping Will was John's way of encouraging a man to not repeat the mistake John had made a long time ago with a woman he loved. And lost. A woman he still wasn't over. Jessica.

How could she have thought John would ever be able to completely let go of his lost love? If she had lived, no doubt John would be taking the advice he was now giving Will and would be fighting for Jessica. Or by now he would be with her. Living a normal life. She had to face it. Jessica had a place in John's heart that would never be up for grabs. John's love for her had been exalted through her death and always would be. The question now was what was Joss going to do about it?

Joss swallowed searching her heart. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

A tear slipped out of her eye as she answered her own question. She wasn't going to do anything. She was going to stick by John anyhow because she couldn't leave him. She was too far gone over him. Whatever she could be to him she would be. Because she needed him. It wasn't his fault his lover had died. But she was not the love of his life. And she was going to have to live with that. Inwardly she berated herself for choosing to devote herself to a man who she knew was not going to devote himself fully to her. The woman inside her condemned her for settling for being a man's second best. But it wasn't just any man. It was John Reese. And yes for him she would be second best. Because even if he never loved her the way he loved Jessica, he still needed her. So as long as she lived, he would have her to lean on. In whatever way he would need her.


	6. Chapter 6 Letting the Truth Out

_Thanks for the reviews! There's about two more chapters to go. I'll get them updated soon._

Opening the door Joss came to Clarisse's bent form. She lay a hand on her shoulder trying to keep herself together. "You hungry?" she asked gently.

Clarisse shook her head.

Joss sighed sitting down next to her. "Come on Clarisse. You've got to face it. Better now than later. Ignoring it and pushing Will away won't change the fact that he's alive and that you still care about him. I know what happened between you too. He left you to do an assignment for his job. And as far as you knew he died on that mission. Was there anybody else before Gary Marshall?"

"No. I couldn't even think about anyone else, but Will. It wasn't until I volunteered to work on the campaign that I met Gary. I got involved because it was around the time of the anniversary of Will's death. I was a wreck. I could barely concentrate on anything. When I was working on the campaign Gary noticed how down I was. He made conversation with most of the volunteers so I didn't think anything of it when he started talking to me. On occasion we talked about politics. Little things and we became friends. He tried to cheer me up. What started as simple exchanges turned into more."

"And so he swept you off your feet."

"Something like that. I was happy with him. He was such a committed person. So dedicated. I found myself able to laugh when I was with him. He made me smile and for a while I was able to forget about the pain of losing Will. Not to mention when he proposed I realized that there was a chance I could be happy again. But our relationship was kept quiet during that time so things were very different. The media didn't know about it. There was no paparazzi or prying eyes. I also am bothered by him leaving his wife after all those years. I guess I wonder if he'll one day leave me too. I know his family isn't thrilled we're together."

"But Will is back."

"Who cares?" she thrust out. "How could he do this to me? He _let_ me think he was dead."

"Honey, he did what he did because he didn't want to disrupt your life. But you and I both know you've been having doubts. Look at me. Do you really love Gary Marshall enough to commit the rest of your life to him? To take him for all that he is?"

Clarisse didn't reply.

"Do you love Will?"

"I've always loved Will." Clarisse confessed.

Joss couldn't believe what she was about to say. "Then you should try and work things out. See him again. Talk to him. Don't get angry and rush off into this relationship when you're unsure. It will only leave you with regrets."

Amidst her tears Clarisse finally nodded. Suddenly she threw her arms around Carter. "Thank you Jocelyn. I don't know why you're doing this, but thank you."

"You're welcome honey. This kind of love is worth the fight," Jocelyn said blinking back tears.

…

Finch had all their lines opened and was listening carefully his eyes glued to his computer's screen. Shaw tried not to complain about the fancy uncomfortable dress she had to wear to the charity dinner, the senator was attending. Fusco lingered in the room while John remained close to Joss keeping an attentive eye on the Senator and Clarisse. John's eyes fell on Joss. She didn't seem herself. Hadn't since they had brought Will to see Clarisse. He wanted to know what was wrong, but hadn't had a good opportunity to ask her. She seemed so solemn and down. It was disarming for John who hated whenever she didn't have a smile on her face.

Clarisse mingled with the other guests sticking close to Marshall as John had advised her to. When the couple briefly separated her bodyguard took his place by her side. Or at most standing no more than a few feet away. She moved casually through the crowd an increasing distance happening between she and her bodyguard. But John didn't notice as his eyes once again rested on Joss.

He nudged her playfully drawing her attention, but instead of looking amused she remained somber. "What's wrong?" he asked with a smirk hoping to lighten her mood.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

"Did you and Clarisse talk about something you should let me in on?" He leaned a little closer. "Like maybe she still loves Will," he said confidently, but his attempt at being playful seemed to have the adverse effect as Carter's brow pinched. Her eyes lifted and she gasped.

"John where's Clarisse?" Immediately John began looking around the room. The woman was no where in sight. Abandoning Joss he moved through the room. "Finch, we lost her. Shaw and Fusco take the left and right halls down to the side exits. She can't be far."

…..

Clarisse tried to fight against the two men that dragged her. "Let me go," she mumbled against the hand that covered her mouth. "Please. Help!" She struggled, but her cries only resulted in her attackers treating her more roughly. The men almost had her to the door when suddenly John appeared taking one of them down. Letting go of his grip on Clarisse, he went after John. John held his hands up jerking back in time enough to miss the man's swing. He tried again, but John caught his fist in mid air and hit his arm no doubt breaking it. He kicked the man in the side forcing him to the ground. The other man was about to reach for his gun.

"NYPD!" Carter yelled moving towards them her gun drawn. "Hands up! I said hands up," she repeated through clenched teeth. Coming to his senses, he raised his hands. "You okay Clarisse?" she asked while cuffing the guy.

"Yeah, I'm good. But when is this going to end? Who are these people?"

"Don't worry." John assured. "We're going to settle this tonight."

…..

Crying uncontrollably Clarisse allowed Marshall to hold her close. Continuously she tried to compose herself, but every time she tried her mind became once again filled with the 'what ifs'. What if she had been taken? What if they planned to kill her? What if she never got married? What if she never saw Will again? That particular thought made her feel guilty, but she had thought it all the same.

She loved Gary. Then why was she having all the doubts? Why did she have this nagging feeling that she had fallen in love with an illusion? Finally she pulled herself together and sat up in her seat. Swiping angrily at her eyes.

"I don't get it!" she spit out angrily. "Why is this happening? Who is doing this?" Enraged her eyes landed on Marshall. "Gary! What is this? _Is_ it your family? Are they upset? What?"

"John stretched his arms on the back of the chair he was standing behind. "Tell her," he said darkly. "Tell her the truth. Everything. Even the stuff we don't know. She has a right to know exactly the kind of man she's marrying."

With confused eyes Clarisse looked from John to her fiancé. "Gary. What is going on?" she demanded and this time Gary knew she wanted the truth.

Gary swallowed before looking into Clarisse's young eyes. "It's me. This all has been happening because of me." He held up his hand when Clarisse made to speak. "No. Let me finish. I have used my political power in the past to…aid certain sectors of organized crime."

Clarisse's eyes widened.

"It has been the foundation of my political career. But I have gone straight."

"Why?" Clarisse said boldly. Suspiciously. "Why now? After you've met me? Are you telling me you didn't go straight for your wife or your kids, but with me you are? Why?"

"Because when I met you, you were so pure, you had a vision of me that I wanted so desperately to be true. You were not blinded by who had been. I had a fresh start with you. You're someone I knew who would be unable to bring up my past. To remind of my failures."

Slowly Clarisse shook her head. "You lied to me. You _did_ leave your wife for me." Clarisse said through clenched teeth, tears falling down her red eyes.

"Not entirely. I didn't pursue you romantically until the divorce was final."

"And the shootings, the attempted kidnapping…"

"The men I once associated with have put a price on your head, to get me to do what they want. To use my power to benefit them as I have done before."

Clarisse swallowed finally breaking contact. Her fear and sadness was replaced by anger. "None of this was real."

"Clarisse please," he tried to reach for her, but Clarisse jumped from the seat and glared at him.

"No. Don't touch me. I don't even know who you are. You didn't give me a chance to know who you really are." With a groan she stomped out of the room.

John sneered down at Marshall. "There's no time to wallow in self-pity."

"That's right," Joss jumped in. "Clarisse still has a price on her head."

"Now if you want that woman to live, it's up to you to save her."

"Me?" He screeched turning his frustration on them. "You're the ones who said you could protect her!" Gary Marshall accused.

"A little difficult to do our job when your boys from the hood keep poppin' up everywhere," Joss retorted growing highly annoyed with the man. If he wasn't a senator she might have punched him by now. Just to get in one good hit for all of the stupid things he had done.

"These men worked for you," John went on. "And I'll say they have connections everywhere. Even your so-called allies. Which will explain why your bodyguards always tend to disappear when trouble is around."

"So, what would you have me do?" Marshall finally asked.

"There's only one way to put an end to this," John said his tone serious booking no room for argument. "You end your campaign. Give up your political career."  
>Marshall scoffed. "Are you insane? After all the years I have put into building my political career. I can't just drop out of a race. I have given countless times to my community."<p>

"While looking the other way and letting crime run loose on the streets." Joss reminded.

"Up until now your political career has been crooked and your running campaign a platform of deception. You might want to go straight, but because of the years you wasted being crooked you won't get the chance to know what it's like to be an honest politician." John rested his hands on the table leaning in. The action had a great affect on cornering the man, making him feel trapped.

"If you don't do this, Clarisse's life will remain in danger. And she might end up dead. The boys who worked for you aren't going to give up. Even if you break things off with her they'll probably still pursue her. Because they'll know she's your Achilles' heel. And even if they don't go after Clarisse then they'll go after your daughter or your son. But if you don't run, I think they'll cave. They'll have nothing to gain. If they come after anyone it'll just be you."  
>"But-"<p>

"You know what, Senator I already have no respect for you. You can at least try and redeem yourself in this. Prove how much you love Clarisse and give up the campaign."

Looking defeated Marshall looked to Carter as his last hope. She shrugged. "Sorry Mr. Marshall. I'm afraid it's the only way. It's your battle. Clarisse has been brought in on it and she had no knowledge of your past. The least you could do is spare her further drama. As long as you're in power, they're going to want you to be their ally. Their pawn. But if you're not in power, you'll be nothing to them."

After a moment Marshall's shoulders fell. He sighed. "I guess, it's time I do something right."


	7. Chapter 7 A Different Case

John and Joss waited in the other room while Clarisse and Will met again. John had been pushing to get Will back into the house and Clarisse finally took Carter's advice to see Will again. There was no yelling. That had to be a good sign. Joss hoped they worked things out. Clarisse deserved better than Gary Marshall. John paced quietly through the room. Joss found herself smiling at how anxious he was. It was really kind of sweet. The man in the suit turned out to be a hopeless romantic.

"You know the other night," John began, "I never did get to find out what was bothering you. You care to share now?" He slid down into the seat across from her. Inching close until their knees were nearly touching.

The somber look returned to Carter's face. "I've just been thinking."  
>"About what?" he pressed.<p>

"Why a man like you would go through all this to help two strangers get back together and live happily ever after."

He laughed softly. "Did you figure out why?"  
>Carter cleared her throat her gaze dropping from his briefly. "I'm sure it was rough when you lost Jessica. In fact I know it was."<p>

At the mention of her name the amusement immediately left John's eyes and he stared at Joss in confusion wondering where this was going and what exactly was going on in that pretty head of hers.

"To love her so much. Then lose her and live with regret and the, what ifs. I know why you wanted Will to meet with Clarisse. It was a chance to give them the happy ending that you and Jessica never had." She tried to keep her voice steady as she pressed on. "John I know you still love her. And I can't blame you. Let's face it if she had lived you would probably be with her and not with me. I guess I just want you to know that I know how you feel and that you don't have to hide it from me. Because John I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here for you. I know I said you had to move on in order for us to work, but the thing is John, I care so much about you that I'll settle for what I can get. I'd rather have some of you than none of you. If you only care about me as a friend or as what I am now then so be it. I'll be what you want me to be John. So long as you don't push me away."

John couldn't believe his ears. What had he done to deserve this woman? Why had God given him such a gift? He felt like heaven had smiled down on him after so long of walking under dark and clouded skies.

He couldn't believe she was offering herself to him and taking whatever he was willing to give. His heart ached for her. She had thought she was second best. That he still loved Jessica and all of this had been a way to relive the past through someone else. Yet he was also angry at her. Angry that she would actually think he would become involved with her and not be all in. Angry that she had put herself through this and doubted the depth of his feelings when he told her that he would move on only with her.

"Joss I didn't do this for Jessica."

"Come on John. It's almost exactly the same plot. Engaged, lover from the past returns and gets the chance to make a move."

"You're right about one thing. I did do this because of my own experience, but not my experience with Jessica. My experience with you."

"What?"

"Joss I almost lost you. I got a second chance. And I told myself as you lay in that hospital room that I would not blow this second chance. But I would fight for you. You said you believed me. That you believed everything I told you in the morgue. Joss you made me give you my word that I was ready to move on. _From_ _Jessica_. And I did. Why would you think I lied to you? Yes, I did not go after her when I had the chance, but when I met you I finally understood why Jessica and I never belonged together. I loved her. But we were too different. I would have had to give up too much of who I really am to be with her. I wish she had lived for her sake and that she had chosen someone more deserving of her than Peter. But you," he rubbed her hands between his smiling, "you were made for me. For my kind of life.

This entire time I have been thinking about our story. Not what happened between me and Jessica. I saw this as Will's second chance just like I saw you surviving Simmons' bullet as my second chance. When you told me about Clarisse's doubts I knew Marshall was just her way of settling for something less, just as I had once settled for less in Zoe, instead of going for the real thing with you. Besides, Clarisse chose Will even though she knew he hasn't always done what was honest. Just like you chose me. Knowing my past is far from shameless."  
>Joss was in a state of disbelief. From John's angle it was an entirely different case.<p>

"You can handle the man I am. We can walk the same path. We're soldiers. I don't have to worry about you the way I would have had to worry about Jessica. And I assure you I am no less devoted to you. You are my world. My everything. You're just what I need. The girl after my own heart." He touched his forehead to hers closing his eyes. "Jocelyn Carter, I want you. You have filled my heart. Every place that belonged to Jessica is now yours. Since that night in the morgue I have ceased to regret the day I kept my mouth closed in that airport and didn't ask Jessica to wait for me. I can't regret it any longer because I know it ultimately led me to you. _Trust_ me. When have I ever given you my word and not kept it?"

"Never," she whispered. Her voice soft and vulnerable.

John opened his eyes so he could look into hers. "Then all you have to do is believe it." He cupped her cheeks and covered her lips. Joss leaned into him soaking up the kiss he gave her, relieved and overjoyed. She kissed him back wanting to hold onto this man forever. If he had been thinking about her from the beginning, then he was over Jessica. He had moved on. With her. The case that once was the source of her heartache was now the source of her joy.

"Now I feel so stupid," she mumbled when they parted. "I got myself all worked up over nothing. See what you've done to me John. You've ruined my independence."

John kissed her again smiling. "Well that makes us even." Wanting nothing more than to enjoy holding her John pulled her up onto his lap and held her close kissing her jaw. Joss shoulders scrunched at the tingling sensation his stubble caused and she smiled laughing. She looked up at him and his brow lifted a mischievous gleam in his eyes. She leaned slightly back.

"What?"

He held up an ear piece. "Want to listen in?"

"You bugged the room?"

"I want to be the first to know how things turn out. Come on Joss. Let's see if history will repeat itself."

With a grin Joss leaned in close grabbing the ear piece.


	8. Chapter 8 Final Decisions

_Thanks for all the reviews. It was hard not to respond to some of your reviews, but I didn't want to tell you if you're were right in your predictions I wanted you to read and see for yourself. I have loved seeing your thoughts while writing this story. Many of your comments had me laughing and others had me going 'they got it!'. It's nice seeing what you think. Here's the final chapter Enjoy!._

Photographers flashed their cameras that resulted in a constant clicking sound filling the room. Beneath the many flashes Marshall managed to keep a straight face without blinking. He cleared his throat standing directly in line with the microphone and podium. Gripping the podium's edge he braced himself.

"Senator," a reporter called out, "if elected for your next term what specifically do you plan on doing differently to handle the new challenges of unemployment and crime?"

Marshall was silent. He jaw worked to speak, but then it closed again as he looked down at the wood before him. His knuckles turned white as his grip tightened.

"Senator?"

Finally Marshall's gaze lifted. "I will not be taking questions at this time. Instead, I will be making a statement. I want to thank all of those who have given their support to my campaign. Present and in the past. I understand all the hard work, the time, and energy that has gone into you assisting me. You have been a great part of my success. I will be eternally grateful to have had many opportunities to represent the people of this city. But I have find myself in a position in which I must withdraw my candidacy and step down from this race."

The cameras clicked more fiercely and there was a mumble of surprise that was quickly hushed when Marshall began to speak again. "I have found that I am unable to serve you as would be best. And since I am indeed here to serve the people I must begin by serving those I am closest to in the best way possible. Which require that I step down. I have faith that a more suitable candidate will lead you. Again I thank you."

Pushing away from the microphone Marshall began to walk away taking the back door out of the room into a more private hall. He headed directly to his office as planned. He blew out a breath walking through the door and closing it securely behind him.

"I guess you think you're pretty smart."

Marshall stilled at the sound of the voice. "Hello to you to Donald." Turning Marshall stared into the eyes of the man who had once been his right hand. His connection into the underground world that existed in the city.

The man had gun on him aimed straight towards his gut. "I bet you think you're pretty slick with that stunt you pulled. Dropping out. You think that's gonna stop us?"

At that moment Marshall felt four hands grip tightly at his arms locking him in place before Donald's gun. He glanced at his captors, two young bucks who had played as his goons during his last campaign. He took a breath.

"You think you're goin' to get out of giving us what you owe us. We did a lot for you. Why should we be left without anywhere to turn just because you decide to play it safe? Do you think you're going to save your pretty little girlfriend with this move?"

"Listen Donald, hurting her or anyone else in my family isn't going to help your case. I dropped out, suspicion will surround me if I decide to re-enter. This is the only way I get what I want and you get what you want. My fiancé is safe, and you don't see me run for office without you as my right hand. You've won," Marshall said desperately trying to persuade him. "My career is over. I'll never have the chance to be a good clean leader. And I know if I ever think about running for office again you'll be there, ready to do me or someone I care about harm. So, if you're not satisfied with the arrangement, here's your chance to get even."

Donald paused his gaze at last dropping as he considered Marshall's words. He nodded the gun bobbing with the action. "You're right. You're worth more alive than dead. But beware, if you go anywhere near leadership, I'll be right behind you." He jerked his head at the bucks. "Let's go."

Releasing Marshall, they followed Donald out. Once the door was again closed Marshall unleashed a breath placing his palms on his desk he leaned his weight onto its surface.

"Well played Marshall."

He looked up in time to see John coming into the office.

"I think he bought it."

Marshall swallowed. "I know he did. It's over. I need to pack up this stuff and get moved out of this office. Where's Clarisse?"

"At the house."

"This can wait. I want to see her. Now that this madness is finished I can move onto our wedding."

….

"Clarisse! Clarisse!" Marshall called walking speedily through the house John trailing behind him waiting for Joss to appear.

Finally Marshall spotted Clarisse climbing down the steps. His face lit up in joy as he rushed towards her meeting her on the last step. His arms encased her and he picked her up holding her close. "It's over sweetheart. I promise you it's all over." Sitting her down he smiled into her eyes. "Things will be the way they were. Before the campaign, before the media and paparazzi. We can plan the wedding. It will all be just the way you want it to be. I promise-"

Marshall's words came to a stop when he spotted Joss trailing behind on the steps carrying luggage. "What's this?"

Clarisse blinked breaking eye contact briefly only to boldly capture his gaze again. "Listen Gary, I've been doing a lot of thinking. About you and me. I'm sorry to do this to you, but it's not gonna work. And it may not be for the reasons you think. I don't love the way I should. Surprisingly it has very little to do with your past choices in your career. I once loved a man who had made mistakes somewhat similar to your own. Not as bad, but still he had made mistakes. But the thing that's different about this time is I did not know this piece of you until recently. And now that I know I realize I can't love you entirely. I can't love you for your past and for you are now. I'm not saying you don't deserve love I'm just saying you won't find it with me. There's only been one man I have loved past, present, mistakes and all. That kind of love I don't have for you. I'm sorry. But I just don't."

The senator's eyes glossed over. He swallowed thickly covering a hand with his mouth. "W-what," he cleared his throat. "What am I to do? I gave it up for you. You're all I have. What do you suggest I do?"

"Go home. Make things right with your kids. Go be a good man for them. And honestly I think you should beg your wife for forgiveness. She loved you the way you wanted me to love you. You may not get another woman like that." Leaning up Clarisse lightly kissed his cheek. She leaned back looked him in the face before sliding her engagement ring off her finger and placing it in Gary's palm. "Goodbye Gary," she whispered.

Gary held the ring unable to move as Clarisse grabbed some of her luggage and crossed the room towards John. "Detective," she said quietly once she reached him, "could I bug you for a lift?"

…

Clarisse nearly jumped out of the back seat of the car once they reached the park. With the biggest smile Joss or John had ever seen on her face she ran across the field and leaped into Will's arms laughing. John and Joss stepped out of the car and watched the two reunite.

Still holding her off the ground they shared a brief kiss before staring into each other's eyes. "You're going to marry me right?" Will boldly asked.

"You know I am. You're going to make it to the altar this time. Right?"

"I promise." Finally, Will set Clarisse on her feet. Grabbing her hand they walked back to where John and Joss waited. "How can I thank you John?" Will began. "I don't know if I could have ever had the courage if not for you."

John smiled. "You're welcome."

"And thank you Jocelyn. You've been a true friend. You were right. About everything. I owe you big."

Joss shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh and John," Will said, "I don't know what woman you lost, but it's really too bad. She would have been lucky to have you. Thanks for helping me be happy even if things didn't end in your situation the way you would have liked."

Clarisse frowned. "Will what are you talking about? John didn't lose out on love."

"Clarisse I know that he did."

"Oh, really?" she challenged. "Then you're a little blind, love. John's got his love right here." She pointed at Carter. Will frowned actually considering her words. His eyes going from John to Joss then back to Clarisse.

"But, how do you know? He never said it out right. I never even saw him touch her." Will defended.

"Sure, maybe his hands weren't all over, but his eyes certainly were." For once Joss was the one to look down shyly. Will laughed finally convinced when John didn't deny it.

"Then you were referring to her?"

All John did was nod while looking into Joss's eyes.

"In that case congratulations John!"

"Yes. We wish you both the best. We'll have to send you an invitation to the wedding. Take care."

Hand in hand the two walked away leaving John and Joss behind. John surveyed the park which he was glad to find was vacant. Taking a chance he wrapped his arms around Carter from behind holding her close. "Any more doubts Joss? Your friend knew who I had eyes for from the beginning? Are you finally convinced?'

She leaned further against him. "Yeah. I am."

"Do you have plans for tonight?"

She grinned. "Nope."

"Want to go out?"  
>"How about something simple? Dinner and a movie." And then just because she wanted to do something normal she said, "Then let's take Bear on a walk."<p>

Smiling John kissed her cheek. "You got it."

_Again thanks for reading and sticking with this story! This was my way of answering the "Jessica question" without bringing Jessica back from the dead. I have read a few stories where she returns from the grave and they were great fanfics, by SWWoman and DeeCee1430, I'll leave Jessica returning from the grave to them. (LOL) But I decided to take a different angle to give Joss that assurance that John really had moved on and show how. So thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this story! __J__J_


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